If you’ve seen one doctor, you’ve seen them all. At least that’s how it feels to a patient dealing with Infertility. You’ve been passed around practices and specialists, desperate for answers and no one seems to be able to give you a clear plan of action.
That changes today.
There’s one thing I need you to understand. And I need you to believe it deep down in your soul. There is a way through this.
What you need is a team.
There’s no ‘I’ in TEAM
team /tēm/ a group of people, all working together toward a common mission
I wish for you that there was one easy button to push that would solve all of your infertility issues. I deeply lament that this is not the case for most women. This is why I work with all kinds of fertility specialists and wellness professionals that have the best intentions for their patients. From obstetric gynecologists and reproductive specialists, to endocrinologists and gastroenterologists, to midwives, nutritionists, health coaches and doulas, I’ve seen them all work very hard for women and couples just like you.
We absolutely do appreciate what each one of these add to their fields, but there is a key to building a team of professionals, who are all experts in their own right, while also making sure that you have a plan that represents you.
The way to unlock a balanced and holistic approach is through collaboration.
But not every specialist likes to play nicely with the other kids in the sandbox.
Have you ever heard the story about a man who had a headache and went to 3 different medical professionals: a chiropractor, a neurologist, and an oncologist?
The chiropractor said the patient’s spine wasn’t aligned. He just needed a quick adjustment and he’d be back on his feet.
The neurologist disagreed, claiming the patient actually had a blot clot and ordered an MRI to confirm.
The oncologist said, “you’re both wrong. This man has a brain tumor and will die in 6 weeks if we don’t start him on an aggressive treatment right away.”
You see, that’s the thing about specialists. They tend to have tunnel vision.
This is one thing that drove me crazy in my years as a conventional provider working in hospitals and outpatient facilities. The communication between providers on a multidisciplinary team is seriously lacking. I knew I needed to change that narrative for the sake of the women who are desperate to hear one united voice assuring her that she is making the right choices for her health.
That’s where I come in.
A fertility coach isn’t just looking at your symptoms. I’m looking at YOU. You need more than just a small tweak in your routine here or a major treatment there. You need someone who is looking out for your whole well-being: body, mind, and spirit. My eye is not on your uterus nor your diet alone. My eye is fixed solely on getting you to your goals with the best possible quality of life. I work extra hard to advocate for the women and couples I work with to get what they need: to be seen and to be heard.
You sit at the head of the table. You get the keys to the kingdom. And we are all here to support and serve you.
The Two Big Questions
So how do you put this dream fertility team together?
Well, grab a glass of wine or a cup of coffee and sit down with your partner because it all starts with answering these two questions. Be as honest as you can with one another because the list you make is going to be used to map out your master plan.
Then ask yourselves these two little (not so little) questions:
What DO you want? What do you NOT want?
Sure it sounds simple, but you and I both know that nothing about this process has been easy so far. Some of the things you’re going to write down are going to sound like completely unattainable, pie-in-the-sky ideas.
Write them down anyway.
What you DO want
This is where you get to dream a little. If you could assemble the ideal professionals to walk your fertility journey alongside you, what would that look like?
Would your dietician focus on cutting carbs OR regulating hormones?
Would your ObGyn support avoiding unnecessary interventions OR will they rush you through time sensitive blood work when you request it?
These are all your choices that you get to make.
You might find it helpful to look over some positive fertility affirmations (https://robynbirkin.com/affirmations-for-fertility/) to remind you of what kind of medical care you deserve.
Here are a few ideas to help you get started:
✅ When you speak, they listen
✅ Makes good eye contact
✅ Empowers you with knowledge and helps you understand all of your options
✅ Asks good open-ended questions
✅ Considers the financial burden of their recommended treatment plan
✅ Seeks to understand your unique circumstances
What you DON’T want
Undoubtedly on this journey, you have already encountered some doctors who made you feel frustrated, confused, desperate, angry, and a whole host of other emotions. Medical professionals that position themselves as the experts can be challenging. They have their protocols and procedures, and often fail to really empathize with that unique patient’s issues from a holistic standpoint.
On your fertility team, you don’t want ONE hotshot physician. You want a collaboration of brilliant and empathetic caregivers who can bring their puzzle piece to the table to help you find your answers.So let’s pull out a fresh page, and on this sheet, I want you to write all of the red flags you want to eliminate from your fertility team moving forward.
Some of the common red flags that my clients have identified in the past:
🚩 The provider frequently interrupts you
🚩 Avoids answering questions thoroughly
🚩 They are dismissive of alternative treatments and other professionals
🚩 Only asks yes or no questions
🚩 Guilts you into making decisions you are not financially or otherwise comfortable with.
🚩 Pressures you to agree to their recommended treatment on the spot
I know some of these (if not all) sound familiar to you. We’ve all had that doctor at least once.
Make sure to add on all of your own unique deal breakers. Then use these lists as guidelines to formulate your expectations for each specialist you interview.
When you are ready to begin making appointments, we can even do a little pre-research on providers and clinics through the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) website.
My Final Thoughts
I’ve worked in this field a long time, and it is still a hard pill for me to swallow that finding synergy between disciplines is so difficult to come by. Assembling a team of health care professionals that value collaboration is transformative. This is the kind of superior care that I am committed to changing for the health of generations to come.
Nothing less will do.
To find out what working with Dr. Mandy would look like for you, book a discovery call. (https://mandypatterson.com/discovery-call/1)
